Pop Goes the Weasel
by lunakatrina
Summary: This is the sequel to Crowbar
1. Chapter 1

Yes, it's finally here, though not complete, I now have a couple of chapters so I feel better about posting one...so, yeah...enjoy, ignore the crack-y title...this should be fun...or something

_**Pop Goes the Weasel**_

The only noticeable difference, at first, was that Harry used a crowbar in class instead of a wand and he wasn't really allowed in Potions, Herbology, or Care of Magical Creatures for a while.

Then he started keeping all his things around his bed or on him at all times, then he got paranoid, and then he started disappearing.

Then he came back…with Fawkes.

It was pretty weird.

But since it was Harry Potter no one really said anything, but speculated endlessly.

Harry speculated too, but only when he was wrapped up in the tiny fortress he'd made up in the boy's dorm. He was currently skipping Charms because he felt like it and Fawkes cooed comfortingly to him from his perch on the bed-post.

"How do you stand it?" Harry asked Fawkes, who puffed himself up and began preening.

"Yes," Harry agreed, "Combing my hair helps me forgot how disgusting it is here too."

Harry rolled over and groaned, saying, "So fucking yellow and I'm so fucking tired of it."

Fawkes squawked momentarily, and glared down at Harry from under a wing.

"Teenager, remember, we cuss," Harry told the bird, "don't like it, don't stay. And Ginny, and that random Ravenclaw she hangs out with all the time, and Nott and Parkinson. The yellow burns me, I hate to look at them, you do too, right?"

Fawkes clearly didn't want to reveal his true feelings of distain toward the yellow students and continued preening as though he hadn't heard Harry.

"It's okay," Harry replied, "I know how you really feel. You don't have to say anything."

There was a knock on the closed door, and then it was slowly opened.

"Harry, my dear boy?" Dumbledore called from behind the cracked door, "may I come in?"

"Yeah," Harry replied, as he pulled himself up to sit on the edge of the bed. Dumbledore slowly ventured into the room toward Harry.

"Ah!" Harry exclaimed, pointing to a chalk line that curved from the wall all the way around his bed, "respect the perimeter!"

Dumbledore looked down at his feet, he was toeing the line, "Oh my…"

Dumbledore turned and paced along the perimeter, Harry shrewdly watching his every move to make sure he didn't come any closer.

"I just…sometimes need some room to myself," Harry explained.

"During Charms class?" Dumbledore asked curiously.

"Especially during Charms," Harry replied vehemently.

Dumbledore looked up at him startled and asked, "Why Charms?"

Harry grinned sheepishly and replied, "It's mandatory."

"Precisely why you should be there—"

"Precisely why it's the best class to skip for some time alone," Harry corrected, and Fawkes made a soft chuckling noise that drew Dumbledore's attention to him or the first time.

"So this is where Fawkes has been," Dumbledore said brightly, "I'd been wondering where he'd wandered off to. I haven't seen much of you old friend," Dumbledore told Fawkes.

"Course not," Harry replied, "Me and Fawkes are homies."

Fawkes trilled in what could possibly be amusement, and ruffled his feathers.

"Fawkes needs a break too sometimes, he doesn't like to admit it, but he likes it better here," Harry replied, "you're too…gold."

Fawkes made the soft chuckling noise again, and flapped over perch on Dumbledore's shoulder.

"Fawkes you've been tainted! Now you can't come back in the clubhouse!" Harry yelled in accusation.

Fawkes twisted his head around, almost all the way, to stare at Harry.

"Oh, you think that's _so_ special—"

"Harry, my dear boy, we need to talk."

Harry groaned and fell back on his bed, saying, "What else is new?"

"You've been acting rather erratic recently, Harry."

"Strangely enough, my behavior seems perfectly rational to me," Harry declared. "I understand everything that I do perfectly, and I'd offer to explain, but it would just take all the mystery out of it."

"I'm worried for you, Harry," Dumbledore him, walking up to toe the line of the perimeter before Harry once more.

Harry propped himself up on an elbow, face rife with sarcastic disbelief, "The hell you are! Get out, or I'll really give you something to worry about—and I'm skipping Herbology tomorrow, FYI, so schedule some quality time for us to talk again."

Dumbledore stared at Harry in shock. Harry smiled at him wryly and said, "That was a dismissal, okay, bye."

Harry twiddled his fingers in a mock-effeminate way and fell back onto the bed, heavily.

Dumbledore made a few more attempts to talk to Harry who steadfastly ignored him, and finally the man left, but Fawkes remained behind. He flapped his way over to alight as a hot, heavy, and comforting _purple_ weight on his chest. Fawkes stared at Harry cooing and making strange chuckling noises.

"I think I'm going to barf," Harry conceded, "or die. Or both."

To Harry's immense embarrassment he felt tears squeeze out of his eyes and slide down into his ears, but he couldn't summon up the energy to wipe them away.

Fawkes crooned softly and his eyes gained a pearly sheen that Harry had become very familiar with.

"Being in the same room equals instant headache, having him here, violating the perimeter is just about the worst thing ever," Harry told Fawkes, "how do you keep it from bothering you? How can you stand it?"

Fawkes continued his crooning and began preening Harry's hair that felt heavy and sweaty. A tear hit high on Harry's forehead and soon after Harry's head began clearing and Fawkes whistled, hopping off Harry's chest onto the bed.

"What?" Harry asked as Fawkes flew over to perch on a post of Ron's bed. Fawkes whistled once more and flapped his wings. Harry got out of bed and headed to the edge of the perimeter, only to shudder back when the full wave of Dumbledore's _gold_ hit him, his stomach roiled and his eyes went black from the throbbing of his headache.

Fawkes whistled again, this time more sharply and a heavy weight fell hard of Harry's shoulder, before talons dug into his skin. Fawkes flapped his wings hard and the force was enough to cause Harry to stumble forward lest he loose his balance.

This went on for a while, until Harry, ever slow finally caught on and allowed Fawkes to direct him by pointing his tiny red head in a certain direction.

Harry was just glad they had made it outdoors before the classes released; his delicate constitution couldn't talk much more of _yellow_, _orange_, or any of the other various shades of both colors.

A few yards from the forest, Fawkes ceased his directions and took off at a seemingly effortless glide to perch on a branch of one of the first trees. He waited for Harry to catch up, trilling short ditties, a habit he'd formed since hanging out with Harry. Harry wasn't going to complain though; he liked a little musical variety…so long as they weren't shows.

"Are you taking me off-campus?" Harry asked, once he stood under the tree Fawkes was perched on, "I bet you are…but why?"

Fawkes trilled in a slightly sarcastic manner and tossed his head and ruffled his feathers.

"You're going to turn me over to Voldemort, aren't you?!" Harry demanded, but he couldn't quite keep a straight face and ended up grinning. "Kidding, kidding. But where are we going?"

Fawkes whistled again and flew further into the forest, just under the lowest level of branches. Harry followed, at a much slower pace back to where the newer trees and small scrubs stopped and the more ancient trees began.

Fawkes was perched on a tree that seemed almost like a black hole of energy that called to Harry. Harry made his way over to the tree and pushed his head against the rough bark.

His headache and nausea went away almost immediately, and an incredible sense of _purpleblue_ flowed over him like a waterfall. It was by far the best moment he'd had since the incident.

He fell to the base of the tree and his head lolled back so the bark was tangling with his hair.


	2. Chapter 2

Sorry for the delay, i've had a lot of shit come down recently, including but not limited to my computer's hard drive (fucking spyware, grrrr), so yeah...I'm putting this up because it's been a while and I'll try to get another chapter out soon, enjoy this in the meantime

**_Chapter 2_**

Harry caught himself dozing when the forest came to life in the cold darkness of night; Harry scrabbled in his pocket for his crowbar and groaned when he couldn't find it. He began scrabbling at the ground and snatched up a stick.

"Lumos," Harry muttered, but it didn't light. Harry tossed it and tried for another he went through about four sticks before he found one that did light…extremely spectacularly.

There was a startled squawk from above him in tree. Harry quickly looked up and smiled at Fawkes who looked like he'd just woken up, head barely peeking out from behind a wing.

"Got a little late, didn't it?" Harry asked, "And I feel so much better, I don't want to leave. I'll sleep here, evil creatures be damned."

Fawkes fluttered down to a lower branch, only a couple of feet away watched Harry as he shivered with the cold and scrabbled a few branches and leaves together in front of him and cleared the area around it.

Harry pointed the stick at the pile and said, "Incendio."

The rubble burst into flames and Harry smiled in satisfaction and waited patiently for the warmth of the fire to fight off the chill that had settled with the night.

"I wonder why I can only cast magic with certain things," Harry mused. "Sometimes, it's a shame you can't talk, Fawkes, I'm sure you could explain exactly why."

Harry picked at the stick he'd cast the fire with, and broke it in half so it was about the same length as a wand, even it was too thin and too gnarled. He plopped it on his lap, just in case he needed it again and looked up at Fawkes who glowed spectacularly in the firelight…which was dimming because the poor fuel Harry's supplied it with.

"Guess I'd better go find some more stuff to burn," Harry sighed, "otherwise we'll be in the dark and cold again."

But he'd even fully hoisted himself up; Fawkes fluttered down and landed in the fire which burst back into life. Fawkes curled up and placed his head under his wing and Harry fell back to the ground.

"Well, goodnight to you too," Harry muttered, but he leaned up against the tree and allowed himself to doze a bit more.

Harry woke up to someone walking a bit too close to him which meant someone was breaching the perimeter and they must be stopped before Harry became even more ill than he already was.

"Argh, no, you're infecting the perimeter!" Harry exclaimed sleepily, and he curled up further into his blanke—tree? Harry opened his eyes and then remembered that he'd been in the forbidden forest.

"Perimeter, Potter?" Snape scoffed, his boots crunching twigs and dry leaves. "Get up, _now_. I've wasted enough of my precious time looking for you."

"Looking for me?" Harry questioned, holding the stick he'd use to light the fire as he pushed himself to his feet, his hand resting on the wonderful tree Fawkes had shown him. "What's happened?"

"You happened, Potter," Snape retorted, "Heaven forbid our precious golden boy get himself killed in the middle of the night because he has no way to defend himself."

Harry groaned, rolling his eyes and demanded, "How many times do I have to tell you—"

"That you can work magic with any object?" Snape asked condescendingly, "I'd sooner believe you could do wandless, wordless magic—which I know you haven't the control for. Now, come along boy."

"Not any object," Harry tried to explain, for the umpteenth time. "Just certain ones—and might I just mention you are a lovely shade of fuchsia, Professor Snape."

Snape turned and glared at Harry in a way that fully expressed that Snape thought he was insane.

"You are," Harry replied, "just ask Fawkes."

The bird, hearing its name, blearily lifted his wing and looked out at Snape and Harry.

"Isn't Snape fuchsia?" Harry demanded and Fawkes cooed a little bit before returning to sleep in the fire. "See he agrees with me."

"Your fixation on that bird—"

"I notice you never made fun of Dumbledore," Harry retorted, "He used to hang out with Fawkes more than I do."

The headmaster doesn't need others to 'make fun' of him, he does a good enough job of being ridiculously preposterous on his own," Snape retorted.

"I'll be certain to pass that onto him, shall I?" Harry asked.

"I'm certain it would not be news to the headmaster," Snape replied, "now, do come along."

Harry followed Snape out of the forest obediently, and saw that it was nearing dawn.

"I hadn't meant to stay out so long," Harry commented, deciding to leave out the fact that if he never felt the disgusting yellow of the castle around him ever again it would be a glad day for him.

"You claim to not mean to do many things, Potter," Snape replied, "and yet I never believe you."

"Well, bully for you," Harry replied. "And it's not my fault you not have faith in anyone or anything."

As they neared the castle steps Snape was met by Dumbledore who smiled benignly, looking greatly relieved.

"Ah, hello there, Harry," Dumbledore greeted, "worried us a bit, my boy. We weren't sure what to think when Ron discovered you missing and your crowbar still in the dorm—"

"And me apparently helpless and dying at the hands of Voldemort because I couldn't depend myself," Harry finished. "Listen I can prove to you that I don't need—"

"My boy, I understand that you feel you must fight against the laws of magic that almost forced you to return to the muggle world, but it is important that you realize that not all rules can be bent for your benefit."

Harry pointed the stick he'd found in the forest at Dumbledore and asked, "So you wouldn't have any problem with me hexing you right now with this stick then, would you?"

"You can't hex me with that stick, Harry," Dumbledore sighed exasperated.

"Wanna bet?" Harry demanded, tilting his head.

"Are you threatening the headmaster?" Snape all but growled.

Harry turned his head to look at Snape, wand still fixed on Dumbledore, and he asked, "How can I be threatening him when _you_ know as well as _he_ does that I can't do magic with this stick."

Harry's courageous stand was interrupted though, by something slamming into his side and attempting to choke him.

"Oh, Harry!" Hermione exclaimed, "We were so worried about you!"

"I was fine," Harry replied, slowly coming realize that the weight pressed against his side was in fact Hermione. "Nothing to worry about, I didn't even leave school grounds."

Then Hermione pulled away and looked between the headmaster, Snape and Harry asking, "Was something going on?"

Dumbledore was staring disapprovingly at Harry who sighed and asked, "Your office, sir?"

"I'm afraid so, my boy," Dumbledore sighed, "but do retrieve your crowbar first."


End file.
